Start Exploring Your Hidden Sexual Fantasies

What we know about people who create lifelong sexual potential with partners is that they enjoy ongoing play, exploration, and connection in their sex lives. So, If you’re feeling a bit tired of being stuck inside the house and are looking for fun and exciting ways to pass the time, why not consider finding new ways to play in the bedroom?  Changing things up and being creative is a great tool for keeping passion alive.

In this article, you’ll learn some new tips for spicing up the bedroom with some light BDSM, S&M, or rough BDSM.

Light Bondage/BDSM Ideas for Beginners

Being stuck at home is a perfect time to try some light BDSM. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. It adds some spicier elements to your sex life, all created consensually and by total agreement in advance. It can look like role play, exploring being a top or a bottom, trying on experiences that explore emotions like humiliation (if that’s your thing), or practicing kinky things like spanking or being spanked (which allows the exploration of the edges of intense sensations). Key to BDSM is using your imagination and communication in ways that go bigger, wider, and deeper with your partner.  It is so incredibly hot to penetrate your partner’s wildest dreams and funkiest fantasies. And it feels incredibly good to have your own sexual being explored all the way by your partner.

Before you dive in, make sure you’re in a safe situation with a partner you trust. Go over any hesitations or concerns that you might have with your partner.COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. This is the beginning of the fun.  Establish boundaries. Decide on a safe word. 

To get started, a basic BDSM/bondage kit should include some of the following:

  • Handcuffs
  • Blindfolds
  • Rope
  • Whips or spanking tools
  • Dildos and bondage toys
    • Tip – You can go with a remote-controlled dildo (and give the control to the other partner) to create a provocative power dynamic

 

To begin, play around with the toys. Experiment with dominant or submissive roles. If you’re completely new to the rougher side of sex, you can start with some spanking and nipple play to begin testing your boundaries. 

Experiment with dirty talk: referring to the dom as “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” clearly establishes who’s in control and helps set the mood. 

Of course, bondage and BDSM can seem overwhelming when you’re just beginning to explore it. A game with rules can help guide you through. 

 

BDSM Games to Get You In the Mood

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Not sure where to start with BDSM? Try one of these popular BDSM games:

  • Sex dice. Don’t have any? You can make your own, or download a dice-rolling app. All you need is six body parts (your choice) and six actions: suck, spank, lick, pinch, whatever you want! Roll two dice and match up the body part with the action. Put your sexual satisfaction in the hands of fate. 
  • Edging. Edging means that one partner is brought closer and closer to orgasming by the other partner, but is denied the right to climax. They can only orgasm if the dominant partner gives them permission. Delaying the orgasm makes the eventual climax all the more explosive.
  • Blindfold your partner. Then, run your fingers, toys, or other material (feather, fur, leather) all over their bodies. This is a good form of light bondage to get started.
  • Don’t move. Challenge your sub to stay still as possible. If they move, any sexual activity stops. If you want to move into more rough BDSM territory, you can punish them for moving.
  • Temperature play. Experiment with hot and cold. Run an ice cube over their bare skin, or drip some melted candle wax on them. This is important: don’t use a Yankee candle! Go for a “massage candle” from your local sex shop. 
  • Spanking. Use a bare hand, paddle, or wooden spoon. Keep that safe word handy as you slowly escalate the impact. 
  • Restrain your partner. Use rope, handcuffs, or a tie. This gives the dom ultimate control, and the sub is totally at their mercy. 
  • Flip a coin. Not sure who should be dom or sub? Let the coin decide. This might take you out of your comfort zone with very steamy results. 

 

Break Through the Taboos With Healthy Hedonism 

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I can’t stress enough the importance of pleasure. The more clients I see, the more obvious it has become that our inability to experience pleasure lies at the root of stress, depression, anxiety, and sexual problems. Don’t let others…society, parents, or even your friends…dictate what is taboo in the bedroom and what isn’t.

By trying out some sexy games, light bondage, and BDSM, you might discover entirely new ways to please yourself and your partner. Enjoy!

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