Remember, neurons that fire together wire together. We can turn up the volume on our genital sensations if we lay down and strengthen those pathways over and over.
This exercise offers you a way to increase your ability to access sensations in your genitals, which will then make it easier to access sexual pleasure. Based on my research, I came up with this exercise after studying the difference between imagined touch and actual physical touch of the genitals
- Find a comfortable place where you’re not going to be disturbed. Wear comfortable clothes that allow an all-access-pass to your private parts. Put on some nice music and perhaps light a candle. Remember this is time to simply experience your sensations — the intention is not to orgasm.
- If you’re a woman, begin by rhythmically tapping/stroking your clitoris. Concentrate on how your fingers feel as they experience the sensations of touch as you touch yourself — and then widen your sensory awareness to also include how your clitoris feels receiving the touch.
- If you happen to have a penis, you can rhythmically tap/ stroke stimulate any place on your penis and likewise concentrate on how your fingers feel as they experience the sensations of touch as you touch yourself — and then widen your sensory awareness to also include how your genitals feel receiving the touch.
- As you rhythmically tap or stroke your genitals, simply register the good or pleasant feelings; this is not intended to be erotic.
- After about five minutes of tapping, rest a minute or two, and notice any sensations that linger post-touch. We tend to not pay keen attention to the full range of our sensations — how they register or ramp up or ramp down. Really tuning into the subtlest of sensations as they build up or release is a good practice to tune into our ability to register sensations.
- Now, it’s time to tune into your imagination. For the next minute or two just think about touching your genitals in the same exact way you just did in the first part of the exercise. Tune into the experience — and don’t worry if you don’t seem to actually “feel” sensations from the genitals by just thinking about them. Focus on the imagined experience.
- Continue by interspersing rounds of actual touch stimulation with rounds of imagined stimulation and simply pay attention to all of your sensations. The key here is repetition. The more you go back and forth between rounds of touch and rounds of imagined touch, the more you will prime the power of imagination to access sensations.
Again, this exercise is not meant to lead to an orgasm here or even turn you on. It’s designed to teach you how to focus on experiencing sensations from the body both from touching and then imagining touch. You can also do the same with your nipple (whether you are a man or woman), as my research has shown that the nipple also paves a pathway to the place where genital sensations land! You can also practice touching any part of your body (lips, neck, inner thighs, etc.) that you might experience as pleasurable and sensual.
Relax and enjoy. Remember pleasure is not a luxury. It’s a necessity for wellbeing.